i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Drake has all the answers
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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