Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
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