I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
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also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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