This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
