Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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