I bet he comes in French.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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