do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
