I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
