Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
