I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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