Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
