I cockslap morals
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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