So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
