Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
