I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
