i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
