I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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