I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
