Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
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I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize