He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
