His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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