my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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