$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize