rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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