After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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