I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
