he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
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