I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
