I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
