The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I want to be your penis for a week.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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