This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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