He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
that may or may not have been my penis.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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