Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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