I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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