garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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