Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize