my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.