he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.