Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
