Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer