Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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