Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
