i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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