I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
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