...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
