But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
