I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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