It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize