Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You were trust falling into bushes
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
