He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
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When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
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Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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