its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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