does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Damn victory sex feels great
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
