youre lurking in front of me
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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