Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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