Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice

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(210): View more from Texas

So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?

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(719): View more from Colorado

He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet

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(224): View more from Illinois

I haven't been sober in 4 days.

(1-224): View more from Illinois

Then be sober

(224): View more from Illinois

No.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"

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