Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The power of my boobs compel you
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
