Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I think your dad took our porno
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
