would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
