We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
